White Lies, Black Lies and Big Fat Liars

One thing I will never understand about Arab/Saudi culture is how habitual and accepted lying seems to be. It’s just so common in the Arab world for men to lie to their womenfolk. Men lie to their wives, to their mothers, sisters, and kids. Women are almost always the targets of these lies. The Arab man is the master of all types of lies.

saudi men bw

Coming from a culture of a high respect for absolute honesty and always telling the truth, no matter how hard it may be, it’s even more difficult for me to understand this phenomenon. Finns are the most honest people you will find on earth (proven time and time again by numerous studies and reports). We always top the corruption studies as the least corrupt country. Finns can leave their doors unlocked without fear, we always return lost or dropped wallets, even with all the money in it. Even our politicians are honest (well ok, as honest as a politician could ever be).

 

What could be the reason for lying being so common and accepted in the Arab culture?

 

An Arab man is brought up surrounded by liars. He will grow up seeing how his father lies to his own mother on a continuous basis without any consequences. Maybe his father took more wives and was dishonest with the first wife, not telling her and lying for years until he got caught. Most likely he also lied to wife number two about the existence of number one. Perhaps the father didn’t tell women of the family about his financial difficulties, and when everything fell apart it was a shock to the women, but all the men already knew. Nobody will know the truth except the men.

 

The boy adapts this seriously screwed-up model in his own life and applies it to his wife and own children. Men are more or less honest with each other, but when it comes to women for some reason they are not able to be truthful 100% of the time. Some not even 2% of the time it seems.

The Arab man will tell white lies to his wife all the time. Some are “innocent” with no bad intentions, but lies nevertheless.  But even if the man supposedly sincerely (only an Arab man can lie sincerely) means good with his lie, it doesn’t mean it is not going to hurt the recipient. White lies can hurt the most.
Sometimes the Arab man will make up black, ugly-ass lies to attempt to get himself out of trouble. We have a saying in Finland that is very descriptive for this type of lie; “kuin koira veräjästä”, meaning he will try to take the easy way out. Literally “escape like a dog from the back door”.

The sad thing is that being a big fat liar is a perfectly normal status for him. The Arab man does not even feel ashamed of lying.  Even lie detectors don’t work in certain societies because lies do not create cognitive dissonance, on which the tests are based on. Their conscious is clear. There is only that which serves his purpose and that which doesn’t.

 

You will never find him apologizing or begging for the wife to forgive his idiotic actions, even though that would be the right thing to do. He thinks it’s his birth-right to lie to women.

 

Especially if it is to “protect” the woman. Because they perceive women to be so ‘weak’ they can’t handle the harsh truth.

 

A typical Arab guy will never tell his womenfolk the absolute truth about his financial situation. Arab men are experts at hiding assets and keeping purchases, loans or bankruptcy from the women of the family. Is it because they think women are too emotional to handle anything deemed serious business? Do they view women as stupid and incapable of handling finances? Do they think telling women about finances will cause the poor women to faint or start ululating and pulling their hair out in shock of how lousily he has dealt with money?

 

Are Arab men really so dumb to think women don’t have a clue?

 

Well I have a newsflash for those dumb-asses out there: You are probably the one with clues only. Your wife most likely is the one with more sense and when it comes to money-issues if given a chance would excel in them.

 

Men like this are simply weak and afraid of women. Afraid that women will be better and take control. That’s the name of the game in Saudi Arabia.

 

The Arab man has to always be in control. His pride is too precious for anything else. By lying he thinks takes control. This is the only conclusion I can make from this idiotic habit of compulsive lying. Or then they are just cowards. Too scared of the truth and rather hide behind ridiculous stories.

 

It’s hard to understand how a man comes to think it’s ever better to lie to his wife rather than tell the truth? He will get caught someday anyways, so why not be honest from the beginning? Why create the extra drama and hurt feelings? Wouldn’t it actually be easier on him to come forth with the truth right from the start?

 

it’s not such a big deal if the woman were to hurt her feelings or get upset from what he has to say. Women are not fragile, they do not break from bad news. She will get a MILLION times more upset about the lie AND the action. If she were to know beforehand, she might get upset at first but at least being honest with her would lessen the hurt.
Why is it so common for Arab men to lie to women? Withholding the truth is just another form of lying! Also, how do women come to accept this, because it wouldn’t be so common if more women viewed as unacceptable? It seems as if many women have accepted this as the norm ‘men will always lie’. Why is that something that anyone wants to accept in their life? Living in deceit?

When will these women realize that being lied to is not the same as being ‘protected’, like a pearl in its shell?  Withholding information and making up cover up stories is nothing else but disrespect and belittling her as a woman and a human being!

 

 

 

P.S. please refrain from making a comment stating not ALL Arab men are big fat liars. This is by no means what I intended to say. There are good men, there are bad men and there are good men with bad days.
P.P.S. I realize men lie all over the world, even Finnish men. the post is about this specific cultural phenomenon.

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  • Liza KhanDecember 22, 2011 - 10:05 pm

    Salam,

    I can’t say for Sadui Men but I know the culture in the middle east is that way through out. My in-laws are constantly lying to my hubby and when they get caught they say its for his protection also… I’m lucky to say I found a man that has learned that lying is wrong. He has worked hard but he is changing. I think with a helping wife to steer him in the right direction he will break that evil cycle. Isha’Allah this article helps women that are married to Middle eastern men that with love a patient you can change bad habits :)ReplyCancel

  • Almost a MuslimahDecember 22, 2011 - 10:29 pm

    by all means I’m not an expert but I read a comment somewhere made by a lady married to an Arab guy that it’s all about how things look on the outside (and I would agree with it an extent). As long as everything looks good on the outside and doesn’t give the community a reason to run their mouths, all is good. Maybe that’s why they lie, to keep things looking good. Keeping one’s face is everything.
    just a thought :)ReplyCancel

  • JHENNIEDecember 23, 2011 - 5:14 am

    your post has left an uneasy sensation but I think that’s a phenomenon present in many cultures not only in Arab countries; For instance, in mine men are big liars as well, of course not all of them but lying is very common, mostly on cheating matters and it would seem it has become in a daily basis practise between women as well as a response of men behaviour.ReplyCancel

  • ♡ αmαℓDecember 23, 2011 - 7:05 am

    This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousDecember 23, 2011 - 9:23 am

    It was a very disappointing post – generalizations of this kind are acceptable not for a nice blog like yours but for some gossip columnReplyCancel

  • AnonymousDecember 23, 2011 - 9:39 am

    I love you blog and your writing. However there are times when you show some of your vulnerability. Nobody’s life is perfect. Neither yours or mine or anyone elses. Hugs.ReplyCancel

  • ♥hind♥December 23, 2011 - 10:26 am

    My husband had to learn that im not into lies at all. I dont need my life, trust or peace built on lies, that I can handle the *truth*. I have never accused his cultural backround to be easy with lies. I call it diplomatic. They are pretty much diplomatic..Thank you for that post..ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousDecember 23, 2011 - 11:17 am

    This description matches with Turkish culture as well. Before I used to take everything literally which doesn’t work here. Some people can say whatever to get out of situation or they will say what they expect you want to hear. It has been sad to notice that promises don’t mean much, they can change their mind on things and even claim that their lie was just a joke! The worst is they can lie sincerely as you mentioned, even swearing that something is true when it’s not. On the other hand, if I freak out and say things, they aren’t taken very seriously either. All this makes me feel insecure, it’s hard to trust in people anymore. Trust is such an important thing and after realizing this continuous lying, “joking and telling stories”, I can’t believe anymore all the things I hear or trust which is sad. Thanks for this post, it makes me feel a bit better to know that I’m not alone with these thoughts. Hugs, from TurkeyReplyCancel

  • Om Lujain©December 23, 2011 - 1:51 pm

    WOW… what an interesting and descriptive post hon! Lying is sadly very common here (it is common all over the world.. YES)… but it is much more common here.. little lies here and there.. lies such as… telling a kid if he cleans his room, he will get to go out… the cleaning is done.. and the kids is ignored and never taken out.. little things like this are lies that grow into bigger lies as the children grow up. Additionally, the culture of things here allows women to be left in the dark more so then anywhere else in the world. Why? women are unable to handle their own affairs let alone be a part of their husbands affairs. A women needs a man to run her business for her (the parts where a man is needed to go to government offices etc)… anyway.. I do hope people teach their children from a young age NOT to lie.. that lying is not acceptable.. and that being honest will truly keep a family happy.

    Take care hon.. *Hugs*ReplyCancel

  • LaylahDecember 23, 2011 - 2:55 pm

    Thanks for the comments I really enjoyed reading your different perspectives.
    I don’t have time to reply to everyone one by one this time sorry!

    I knew when I posted this that
    A)most western women exposed to ME and arab culture will agree with me

    B)many arab women won’t and will become defensive saying men are liars everywhere

    and C)some people who are not exposed to ME will say I am generalizing and won’t understand why I wrote this.

    Ok so all of the above happened and of course I am not surprised and I understand those negative reactions.

    I just want to point out that is self clear men all over the world lie. Finnish men lie too, of course.
    My post was not about lying men, it was about how common it is for arab men to lie. That is why I used the term Arab men.

    My post is also about the phenomenon of lying to womenfolk that is very common throughout the middle-east. I didn’t write Saudi men because I have heard of the similar problem from around the region.

    I can’t write to please everyone. I write about touchy and taboo subjects too. I’m not the kind of person who sweeps everything under the rug or buries their head in the sand and denies the existence of problems such as this.

    It is a real, widespread phenomenon. Calling it generalizing would be denying the truth.ReplyCancel

    • AnonymousOctober 6, 2012 - 7:42 pm

      G R E A T AND TOTALLY AGREE …WITH SAUDI FRIENDS !!ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousDecember 23, 2011 - 9:30 pm

    Olen täysin samaa mieltä, miesten valehtelu on raivostuttavaa. Itse olen enemmän perehtynyt latinokulttuureihin, ja täytyy huomauttaa että ilmiö on täysin sama myös siellä. Latinomiehet ovat erittäin kovia valehtelmaan, mutta pitävät myös oletuksenä sitä, että myöskään heille ei kerrota totuutta. Tämä saa heidät siis epäilemään kaikkea ja kaikkia. Valitettavaa kyllä, täytyy huomauttaa että myös naiset valehtelevat. Eivät käsittääkseni niin usein kuin miehet, mutta erittäin usein kuitenkin. Uskoisin kuitenkin, että naiset ovat luottavaisempia ja uskovat miesten valheisiin yllättävän paljon.

    Valehetelevatko naiset myös Saudeissa?

    Kiitos jälleen mielenkiintoisesta postauksesta!

    T. SuviReplyCancel

    • DanielletriniFebruary 14, 2012 - 2:47 pm

      Olen alkuperaisesti Karibialta ja tämä on iso ongelma koko Latin Americassa ja Caribialla. Mutta uskon että siellä miehet yleensä valehtelevat kun he pettää heidän vaimoaansa toisen naisen kanssa. Melkein kaikki minun miespuolisten sukulaisten on pettäneet vaimoaan ainakin kerran. Mutta he eivät valehtelevat “meidän omaksi paraksi” koko ajan kuin Lähi Idässä minun mielessä.ReplyCancel

    • AnonymousOctober 6, 2012 - 7:46 pm

      Yes it is true I am half European and half latina and it is true that sometimes there is that way but not as middle east…Latinos what they do is cheat on women and they can make a utterly new life but ther are not telling you lies the whole time even with the most stupid thing.I was in a relationship with a Saudi and I couldn’t stand it.I prefer Europeans by far!!! Some times its also a norm in undeveloped countries (mentally speaking,not only in economic terms)ReplyCancel

  • JennyDecember 24, 2011 - 12:13 am

    It is sad when lying is rationalized. We care so much about what other people think of us but what should matter most is what God thinks. It’s ironic (and sad) that this could be more common in a culture with a such a strong religious tradition. I hope that your own Saudi family members don’t fit into this pattern.ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousDecember 24, 2011 - 3:28 am

    I love this post. I couldn’t agree more and find it very odd how easy it is for men to justify their actions. I have been lied to by my Arab American husband and things have never been the same since. I don’t understand the need to lie…why not just be honest! Just because we are women doesn’t mean we are incapable of understanding the reality or whatever situation.

    A lie is a lie regardless of how big or small. Just sayin…

    CiaoReplyCancel

  • ASaudi'sGirl?December 25, 2011 - 4:58 am

    Haha, what a great time to read this poat. After a huge fight with my Arab about telling lies! He sucks at it and always gets caught, but still keeps trying. I’m the fool who puts up with it. And I agree, any woman from the west with an Arab man will agree that they lie more. not only do they lie more, they lie about things that don’t even need to be lied about! YOu got my vote sister!ReplyCancel

    • AnonymousOctober 6, 2012 - 7:47 pm

      Exactly even for things that don’t even need to be lied about.ReplyCancel

  • ShimshimDecember 25, 2011 - 10:18 pm

    Arab men do lie sadly, its always about “protecting you” and “I did it because I didn’t want you to worry”…sometimes, you feel like you are going round in circles, because this is the “last time” he will lie, until the next time that you catch him out. I know of Arabs whom have heard news of a loved one who has passed away, he/she is a close relative of the wife, but he doesn’t dare tell her because: 1.it’s too upsetting
    2.her health is so delicate she won’t be able to cope with the news – so he goes on lying to her about the relative…

    How can they justify it in their minds? I would like to see how its processed, do they have any guilt? Or do they genuinely believe that they are doing the right thing???ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousDecember 26, 2011 - 6:20 pm

    ITALY- Given that Arabs tend to be liars, would any woman married to a Saudi recommend a relationship between a Western woman and a Saudi guy? I need your advice. No marrriage in sight, just a relationship. He’s living in Europe at the moment, and very unhappily married at home. I know him quite well, but..he’s Arabic.ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousDecember 27, 2011 - 1:01 am

    To ITALY.
    From Poland – I was in relationship with Saudi. Everything was perfect, but it turned out he was cheating on me, since the begging. I have serious doubts about his friends’ relationships. If he is married, let it go. We all know they can have up to 4 wives.
    Highly not recommended.
    ZuzaReplyCancel

  • HopeDecember 27, 2011 - 10:13 pm

    I never thought of Arab men as liars.. Maybe because I’ve been mostly exposed to Arab Americans.. Their nature is different than the ones who were raised in the ME… Theyre more focused on following and learning about their religion rather than pleasing their culture… I think a society that has too much of backbiting, lying, jealousy is what makes a place so hard to live in.. It makes u sick and sad…I feel that there’s too much energy spent on people’s outward appearance and zero energy spent in teaching manners…ReplyCancel

  • SandyDecember 28, 2011 - 6:53 pm

    I think there are several prevelent kinds of lies- though closely related. Of course they lie about all things involving another woman. And this is throughout the world. They also lie to “protect” the woman.

    But Arab women lie quite a bit as well in the following types of lies. Lies of convenience. Lie to children, lie to co-workers, lie to get out of trouble, lie to get what you want. Lie to make things appear right- the reality is less important as someone posted above. Somewhere I read a great article about this- shame-based cultures vs merit based. Saudi is a shame-based culture and anyone of any gender will lie to avoid shame.

    To Italy- you are THE OTHER WOMAN. Of course it’s not a good idea. Who knows if he is really unhappy at home. Who wants a cheater?ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousDecember 30, 2011 - 9:07 pm

    ITALY- Thanks a lot, ladies, for your advice. I will bear it in mind. Btw, Italian men can be very big liars! Never trust an Italian man ;)ReplyCancel

  • LaylahDecember 30, 2011 - 10:03 pm

    Suvi-kiitos kommentista, mielenkiintoista kuulla etta siellakin pain maailmaa sama ongelma!
    Kysyit Saudi naisista, kylla hekin osaavat valehdella mutta uskoisin etta enimmakseen se on miseten ongelma, ja siis nimenomaan naisille valehtelu ja salailu. Ikaankuin naiset eivat pystyisi ollenkaan kasittelemaan todellisuutta!
    Raivostuttavaa, kylla.ReplyCancel

  • LaylahDecember 30, 2011 - 10:08 pm

    Jenny-you’re right it’s sad when we have this kind of phenomenon within Muslims..obviously Islam does not agree with lying!
    My own Saudi family does have some members with this problem. unfortunately, it is that common.
    To me it looks like the women are so used to it they don’t even see it as a problem really.ReplyCancel

  • LaylahDecember 30, 2011 - 10:11 pm

    A Saudis Girl-I’m sorry to hear that! I hope you can work things out and he will grow put of this habit!ReplyCancel

  • saudi_children_left_behindJanuary 2, 2012 - 12:38 am

    Love your blog, Thank You for voicing your opinion about this phenomenon of the lying Arab man and the struggles that woman may indeed face. Keep up the good work on helping everyone get a glimpse not only the not so good side but also the wonderful side of the Arab world.ReplyCancel

  • LaylahJanuary 2, 2012 - 12:40 pm

    Shimshim-It’s also very common for families (men and women) to lie to elderly patients about their condition and prognosis. The family thinks they are doing a favor for the patient by protecting them from knowing they will most likely die soon, but in the end they are really doing the opposite.

    It’s more common not to reveal the serious issues to the female patients though.ReplyCancel

  • LaylahJanuary 2, 2012 - 12:42 pm

    ITALY- I would absolutely not recommend having a relationship with any married man, let alone a Saudi one! Run as fast as you can the other way.ReplyCancel

  • LaylahJanuary 2, 2012 - 12:43 pm

    Hope-thanks for the interesting views, that’s right there are many factors such as the importance of appearances vs the reality, and basic good manners.ReplyCancel

  • LaylahJanuary 2, 2012 - 12:47 pm

    Sandy-would you say Saudi women lie as much as Saudi men? And if so, do they lie mostly to other women or strangers rather than their husbands or fathers?ReplyCancel

  • LaylahJanuary 2, 2012 - 12:48 pm

    Saudi children left behind-thank you very much and keep up the good work on your blog :)ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousJanuary 3, 2012 - 7:34 pm

    Has your husband been lying to you?ReplyCancel

  • LaylahJanuary 3, 2012 - 10:27 pm

    what kind of question is that?^ LOLReplyCancel

  • AiriJanuary 24, 2012 - 12:31 pm

    Found this article interesting ;) I guess Finnish men or in general Nortic people are rised up not to lie! It is wrong and to steal, it is not right. Sometimes I found so called islamic countries and theyr government a real Hell :S everybody is cheating, stealing in any way they can.. most of all – stealing behind a poor honest hardworking person. They have lost any sense of empathy and humanity… Kids are violent towards God’s creatures, torturing cats, dogs, even grasshoppers :( And women, not all, but most of them… backbiting is harmless… they insult you in public, in to your face. And one has done nothing bad. Getting all this dirst just because of jalousy or another has got enogh from sleeping at home on her lazy bot. So sad! But alhamdullah, theyr are people struggeling against this madness, staying honest and polite :)
    Airi from EstoniaReplyCancel

  • LaylahJanuary 25, 2012 - 10:56 pm

    Airi-so nice to hear from you! thanks for your comment. I agree with your observations. I don’t know why that happened to some people :(ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousJanuary 31, 2012 - 5:31 pm

    I’m Canadian and work with many Saudi men. I’ve noticed too their ability to accept what they call “white” lies…. such as someone else doing their homework, writing their tests. It seems acceptable. The bigge lies are all about pride and or in the name of protection of the woman. Why do women have to be soooo protected. One Saudi friend advised that women can’t visit cemetaries in the KSA because they couldn’t handle it emotionally. I know this is off-topic, but typical of their thinking that we just can’t handle much. Maybe lying to us makes it that much easier.ReplyCancel

  • saudi_children_left_behindFebruary 8, 2012 - 8:24 pm

    Hi Laylah :) As always LOVE your blog!! With my facebook page going good, I thought I would start a blog for the site as well. I just started this blog and I am hoping to get interviews from the other women who have found themselves in our situation. It is imperative that their voices are heard . I truly would appreciate any help in this matter.

    Blog: http://saudichildrenleftbehind.wordpress.com/

    You can contact me at: saudi_childen_left_behind@hotmail.com Or on the Facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/SaudiChildrenLeftBehindReplyCancel

    • MissbOctober 1, 2013 - 1:38 am

      I know this situation i was dating an arabic guy during 2 months ! Its the first time in my life i heard big liar like this …..
      Its crazy !ReplyCancel

  • LaylahFebruary 9, 2012 - 12:51 am

    Saudichildrenleftbehind- No problem I will add you to my blogroll!
    I hope you will find many women willing to share their stories so that others can be warned about risks of dating Saudi students abroad..
    Keep up the good work!ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousFebruary 29, 2012 - 6:23 am

    Indian men are no different….ReplyCancel

    • SwanAugust 30, 2014 - 10:45 am

      he he, true, living in India, for 7 years, married to an Indian, trained him a lot to stop lying. Now do not really care about his lies, once u r not attached to a person, you do not really care. ALL EASTEN CULTURES ARE FULL OF COMPULSIVE LIASR, WE HAVE TO REALIZE IT IS CULTURAL AND IS GENETIC ALREADY. and do you remember who is the father of all lies and liars? SATANReplyCancel

  • thetruthaboutsellingsexApril 15, 2012 - 1:59 am

    Lovely post. Saudi men will lie to get what's denied to them: dating women. The students have no choice but to lie, otherwise they won't be able to experience relationships. No woman in her right mind will go into a relationship with a Saudi being fully aware that he cannot marry/reproduce with her (unless money can sway her…perhaps).ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousMay 23, 2012 - 3:36 pm

    My husband is American, from the South and he does not lie…hes even said that theres no such thing as a white lie either. Much as I love him, I cannot trust him 100% as most of the men I have come across,regardless of nationality, all lie….be it white lies, black lies, blue lies… u name it!I am slowly changing to his point of view and have even stopped using ‘bad traffic’ as a reason for coming home late…its a bit difficult though not even a thinsy weensy little lie ;o)ReplyCancel

  • AnonymousJune 14, 2012 - 11:55 pm

    “only an Arab man can lie sincerely” …just marvelous
    Great job Laylah!
    MariaReplyCancel

    • MissbOctober 1, 2013 - 1:35 am

      Ahahahahahahaha
      This sentence is just perfect !ReplyCancel

  • Once bitten twice shyJuly 27, 2012 - 4:56 pm

    Sorry to burst your bubble but Finnish men can lie just the same as any other man. I know; I was in a three year relationship with one and one night he told me he loved me, was going to move to the States with me and all that stuff. Five hours later someone calling herself his girlfriend contacted me and told me they were busy breaking in their new bed. Turns out, he’d taken up with her about four months earlier without mentioning a word to me about it the entire time he was making plans to move in with me. After her message, I never heard a word from him; he blocked all contact without explanation of why he did what he did. He married her two months later. Turns out she literally abandoned her child and flew across the globe to be with him after knowing him for just a few months.

    Sorry, but any person from any background can lie. To believe otherwise or believe a specific nationality is less likely to do so is naive.ReplyCancel

  • Once bitten twice shyJuly 27, 2012 - 4:59 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyCancel

  • SandpitFebruary 26, 2014 - 7:29 am

    Your post just left me grining from ear to ear! I totally agreed! I have worked in lived in the gulf for over 7 yrs now… One thing I always tell a newbie expat who is smitten by the aggressive attention of an Arab man, TO RUN as fast as possible !!! Total waste of time! He is just playing around. So u see one just Run run runReplyCancel

  • […] Misyar marriage is usually practised as a second marriage, kept secret from the legal first wife, done behind closed doors and lied about, which many Saudi men are masters of.  […]ReplyCancel

  • LibelulaMay 26, 2014 - 10:28 pm

    Any lady considering a relationship with a Saudi man – please do your research and don’t believe one thing he says. I was blown away by a handsome, charming, sexy, and lying Saudi man. It ended in me getting a divorce from my husband (I know, I had the affair), losing my job, losing my home, my pets, my dignity, my self- esteem. This man took advantage of me when I was most vulnerable and never felt sorry for minute after it was all over. When I look back on our 9 1/2 weeks “love” affair, I see that for him, it was all sex and attention from an American woman. He told me the day before he left that he was going home for the summer to marry his third wife. I was devastated. Still recovering. The Saudi culture is so oppressive and cruel. Please American women, do not fall for the charm. It almost ruined me.ReplyCancel

  • Jul DalMarch 15, 2015 - 8:56 am

    Thank u for addressing this. I have seen this with many Arabic men who have come to USA, and the women are so charmed by these ardently attentive liars and their smooth talk. Be informed! Stay far away….it will only end in heartache.ReplyCancel

  • dianeApril 29, 2015 - 9:13 am

    I’m married to a saudi. And yes this is true. They are very good in lying specially in financial matter. Showing and acting as if all is doing well until you will find out that the family is in financial crisis.. And if you already found out, they will deny it even if it’s so obvious because of not having allowance for already monthS.. If you will offer a help like you will work, he will get mad, mad like hell, because of his pride and the thought of ‘he is in control of everything’.ReplyCancel

  • jessicaMay 2, 2015 - 2:44 am

    Hello . I live in the united states and work at a pizza shop as a delivery driver. Half of the people I work with are Arabic Americans and they lie to me all the time. I am really getting sick of it. Caucasians do not lie nearly as much as these people. I am extremely honest person and this type of behavior I can’t stand.ReplyCancel

  • Can't tell youAugust 15, 2016 - 11:28 pm

    I went to the West and saw Islam, but no Muslims; I got back to the East and saw Muslims, but not Islam. — Muhammad Abduh

    My experience in the Middle East (specifically the Gulf Arab States) lead me to believe that half the people are good but submit to the ones who are evil. And I say evil because my experience in seeing persistent, remorseless, pathological lying is mind boggling. That said, I don’t see much difference between Persian, Turks, and Arabs in this light.

    Men will lie to each other for sport and to their women because they don’t think twice about it. Women will lie to each other because they enjoy outsmarting other women. It really is a f’n sport here. I see this a lot with the elites, and even amongst them, the 50/50 rule applies. They’re either genuine, kind-hearted and honest people or complete demons.

    PS – I am a Muslim, I am a Middle Easterner, and I was born and raised in the West.ReplyCancel

  • TO JJSeptember 18, 2016 - 8:32 am

    Great post! I see that it was written a few years ago, but people are still posting comments about this great piece.

    I found your blog while researching lying in Arab/ME culture and how seemingly normal it is. I have had intensive experience in the ME, so I know what I am talking about. But what really got me researching this phenomenon is that I have been with an Arab woman for the past three years.

    The number of lies I’ve caught her in is astounding and the denial that comes after she’s been caught is utterly dumbfounding. I often feel like I am crazy because she will be so sincere about what she said or did and almost convince me that I am imagining things or am misconstruing things. It’s actually frightening how easy it is for her to lie.

    So, I hate to burst your bubble, but Arab woman can lie with the best of them.ReplyCancel

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