One thing I will never understand about Arab/Saudi culture is how habitual and accepted lying seems to be. It’s just so common in the Arab world for men to lie to their womenfolk. Men lie to their wives, to their mothers, sisters, and kids. Women are almost always the targets of these lies. The Arab man is the master of all types of lies.
Coming from a culture of a high respect for absolute honesty and always telling the truth, no matter how hard it may be, it’s even more difficult for me to understand this phenomenon. Finns are the most honest people you will find on earth (proven time and time again by numerous studies and reports). We always top the corruption studies as the least corrupt country. Finns can leave their doors unlocked without fear, we always return lost or dropped wallets, even with all the money in it. Even our politicians are honest (well ok, as honest as a politician could ever be).
What could be the reason for lying being so common and accepted in the Arab culture?
An Arab man is brought up surrounded by liars. He will grow up seeing how his father lies to his own mother on a continuous basis without any consequences. Maybe his father took more wives and was dishonest with the first wife, not telling her and lying for years until he got caught. Most likely he also lied to wife number two about the existence of number one. Perhaps the father didn’t tell women of the family about his financial difficulties, and when everything fell apart it was a shock to the women, but all the men already knew. Nobody will know the truth except the men.
The boy adapts this seriously screwed-up model in his own life and applies it to his wife and own children. Men are more or less honest with each other, but when it comes to women for some reason they are not able to be truthful 100% of the time. Some not even 2% of the time it seems.
The sad thing is that being a big fat liar is a perfectly normal status for him. The Arab man does not even feel ashamed of lying. Even lie detectors don’t work in certain societies because lies do not create cognitive dissonance, on which the tests are based on. Their conscious is clear. There is only that which serves his purpose and that which doesn’t.
You will never find him apologizing or begging for the wife to forgive his idiotic actions, even though that would be the right thing to do. He thinks it’s his birth-right to lie to women.
Especially if it is to “protect” the woman. Because they perceive women to be so ‘weak’ they can’t handle the harsh truth.
A typical Arab guy will never tell his womenfolk the absolute truth about his financial situation. Arab men are experts at hiding assets and keeping purchases, loans or bankruptcy from the women of the family. Is it because they think women are too emotional to handle anything deemed serious business? Do they view women as stupid and incapable of handling finances? Do they think telling women about finances will cause the poor women to faint or start ululating and pulling their hair out in shock of how lousily he has dealt with money?
Are Arab men really so dumb to think women don’t have a clue?
Well I have a newsflash for those dumb-asses out there: You are probably the one with clues only. Your wife most likely is the one with more sense and when it comes to money-issues if given a chance would excel in them.
Men like this are simply weak and afraid of women. Afraid that women will be better and take control. That’s the name of the game in Saudi Arabia.
The Arab man has to always be in control. His pride is too precious for anything else. By lying he thinks takes control. This is the only conclusion I can make from this idiotic habit of compulsive lying. Or then they are just cowards. Too scared of the truth and rather hide behind ridiculous stories.
It’s hard to understand how a man comes to think it’s ever better to lie to his wife rather than tell the truth? He will get caught someday anyways, so why not be honest from the beginning? Why create the extra drama and hurt feelings? Wouldn’t it actually be easier on him to come forth with the truth right from the start?
When will these women realize that being lied to is not the same as being ‘protected’, like a pearl in its shell? Withholding information and making up cover up stories is nothing else but disrespect and belittling her as a woman and a human being!
P.S. please refrain from making a comment stating not ALL Arab men are big fat liars. This is by no means what I intended to say. There are good men, there are bad men and there are good men with bad days.
P.P.S. I realize men lie all over the world, even Finnish men. the post is about this specific cultural phenomenon.