Believe it or not, based on a true story..For more posts about the Saudi royalty click here!
Once upon a time in the Magic Kingdom lived a young Princess called “Abeer”. She lived in a huge palace with her parents and had a Pink Hummer driven by her private chauffeur.
One morning Princess Abeer woke up and upon looking in the mirror screamed: “Noooo! Yaaa Allah this can’t be happening to me! Tomorrow is Alanoud’s wedding party!”
A gigantic red pimple stared back at her form the mirror. Worse yet it was in the middle of her forehead. “I look like a freak! Yaa maamaa!” she shouted in panic as she ran downstairs into the palace courtyard to find her mother.
“Mother what shall I do now, look at me I am so ugly! Tomorrow I must look my best because Prince Mishaal’s mother will be at the wedding to check me out! He won’t propose if I look like a three-eyed monster!”
“Yaa Rabb, poor girl. Don’t worry dear Beero, we will go to the hospital and tell them to give you some medicine for the pimple.”
So the Princesses left to the emergency room with their maids in tow. In the car Princess Abeer instructed the driver “Yalla ya Munir I am in great pain! Drive faster! Remember to use the royal entrance to the hospital so we don’t have to queue!”
On arrival at the ER the poor Princess was so weak she needed a wheelchair. The driver fetched the chair for her and they rushed her into the VIP section of the ER. A nurse and a royal officer immediately attended to the Princess and she was whisked past the overcrowded side of the ER full of the ordinary patients.
The Princesses had both thrown the black scarves over their heads so that their true identity (and the protruding pimple) would remain hidden. The nurse apologized and told the them to wait because she was busy with a very ill baby in the other room. The Princess got extremely upset.
“Sister don’t you know who I am?! I am Princess Abeer bint so and so bin so and so bin so and so bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud. You must attend to me first!”
“But your Highness, the baby might die!”
“I don’t care! This is an emergency situation! she exclaimed, sister get me the doctor NOW!”
The nurse ran off to fetch the doctor, she knew not to mess with the royal family members after some of her colleagues had been “dismissed” and sent on the next flight home after criticizing the VIP status of some patients. A Saudi male doctor specializing in ‘royal medicine’ arrived to examine the royal patient and asked her to remove the veil. The Princess whimpered in pain and exhaustion as she lay on the bed and finally removed her scarf.
Her mother with a stern voice advised the doctor: “Doctor we have imboortant event tomorrow and my Bibi needs to be a beerfect condition. Blease doctor we need a medicine.” .”And I’m in pain!” the Princess added.
The doctor looked at the pimple for a moment and then gave his orders to the nurse: “Take her vitals, do blood tests, insert IV line and start her on intravenous Ceftriaxone. Give Pethidine 100 mg I.V STAT. Apply Bacitracin ointment on the pimple Q.I.D.”
“Don’t worry your Highness we have it under control. The antibiotics will take care of the infection in no time and you will receive a pain killer now.”
“Thank you doctor! Now sister, call the kitchen we want to order some food!”
The nurse went off to follow the doctors orders shaking her head in disbelief of such vanity and the unnecessary medical interventions. The VIP kitchen staff arrived at bedside to take their order. “Freshly squeezed orange juice, chicken wings, fries..oh and cupcakes and gahwa please! Yalla besurah!” the young princess instructed.
The nurse returned to insert the I.V. line and the Princess shuddered. “Please sister I want the cream first!”
“But it’s only for children your Highness and it won’t hurt. Really, I promise it will be very quick.” the nurse tried to reassure the princess to no avail. “No, mama I want the cream!”.
“Sister, blease ze cream now.” the mother Princess confirmed with a stern voice, nodding her head to the direction of the doctors outside.
The nurse went to get the doctor’s orders for the skin numbing cream and returned to apply the cream to the princesses hand where the needle would go in. “Sister blease, ebra here so tomorrow mafi mushkila at wedding” the mother demanded pointing to her daughters arm.
“But your Highness, placing the cannula high on her arm, on the inner side will cause her great pain, the vein is very difficult to find and it is not per hospital policy either. We must always use the veins on the back of the hands first, then proceed higher and the very last resort are those high up on the arm.”
“What is zis bolicy sister? Yalla but ebra now sister!” the mother Princess seemed very agitated and annoyed, so the nurse forgot about reasoning and holding on to any professional ethics and just proceeded doing what they asked.
Despite the cream the Princess screamed in pain from the injection. “Shweia shweia sister, shweia shweia!” The mother disapprovingly clucked her tongue. “It’s too much pain sister! Use smaller ebra!” The nurse thought to herself, didn’t I just warn you about how painful it will be but you insisted on doing it anyway! The nurse explained that she was using the smallest possible needle for this difficult task.
Next the nurse began applying the antibiotic cream on the pimple. “Auuchhh, mama it hurts!” “Shweia shweia sister!” Cluck cluck cluck.
Finally the antibiotics were hooked and the Princess dozed off from her narcotic painkiller. Mother and daughter princess both spent the night in the ER on I.V fluids, watching movies from the flat screen TV and calling the nurses to run different errands for them throughout the night. The maids served gahwa and massaged their feet.
In the morning the doctor came to check the patient. “Your highness the infection is improving. We can discharge you but continue your antibiotics at home for a week and keep applying the cream.”
The pimple had indeed disappeared over night. “Thank you doctor! Sister, we want leave now so remove ze ebra and give us a medicine, besurah besurah!”
Upon leaving the hospital the mother Princess made a complaint of the nurses rude behavior to the Patient Relations Officer.
The Princesses returned to the castle and all was well in the Magic Kingdom.
And the Princess lived happily ever after, without the pimple.
Read more about how VIP patients get treated in Saudi hospitals here.
Mafi mushkila=no problem
Sister=what all Saudi patients call nurses
Pethidine=Extremely addictive narcotic painkiller