Arranged marriages have always been something very distant and strange for me culturally speaking. Before I moved to KSA I knew Saudis mostly wed through arranged marriages within the family, but I’ve noticed they are very common in Saudi Arabia in general. There are large communities of Muslim (and other religions) expats permanently settled in the country who also prefer arranged marriages. Those expatriates often find it easier to seek for suitable brides and grooms online or through newspapers classifieds ads.
For example there are hundreds of matrimonial sites for Indians and Pakistanis alone. Then there’s specific sites for the expatriates living in Saudi to which they turn to when the son or daughter is ready to get married. Using media for finding a bride/groom is seen as perfectly normal and efficient way to find a spouse. Many arranged marriages do succeed, but my guesstimate is at least an equal amount fail.
In the west on the other hand, people are more used to using internet and other media for dating purposes and getting to know the person they are interested in. Men and women also search for life companions online, but not with the type of ads than you might see in a Saudi newspaper classifieds ads section. I find it very strange to see classified ads seeking for brides/ grooms/ second wives. To me it seems like they’re talking about merchandise or products rather than human beings.
In the west people who are seeking to find a life partner online would typically describe their character and personalities, views on life and future hopes rather than family background, social status, or skin color preference, which are the most commonly listed requirements in many Asian and Arab matrimonial ads.
For comparison, a short add in a European newspaper stating a man is urgently looking to marry any young, good-looking, non-demanding woman, of certain height and light skin color, would be seen as a bad joke or even racist and chauvinistic.
For those not used to the concept of arranged marriages, seeing these kinds of straight-forward marriage proposals comes across as really awkward. Sometimes it seems as if the most important qualities mentioned in these ads are racial/ family origin, skin color, height and age of the woman. Additional mentions go to cooking, home making skills and degrees. It’s also strange to see parents placing the ads for their children.
I stumbled upon some very racist and some funny marital ads on an expat website. The typos sure make some of these even more awkward.
“SEEKING DECENT BRIDGE
A Pakistan National 47 years old man working in Saudi Arabia from 20 years seeking Pakistani decent Bridge under 35 years old, having strong financial position with family status. Reason for having another marry is lack of son. Interested families may be contacted at the following an email with full detail and photo, SYED -SUNNI & BUKHARI family is preferred.
bridge_required@ xxx.com”
“Looking for a Bride
Sunni muslim indian hyderabadi parents searching a bride for my younger brother and who’s profile
Age: 27 yrs
Height: 5.10 inch
Color: wheatish
Education: gradute (Bachelor of Commerce)
Position : Sales Coordinator
Settled in ksa Girl shoude be atleast
Age : 20 to 26 yrs
Height: 5.3 and above
Color : fair
Educaton: any
homely responly house duty religious minded
No demands
If these breif detail mates your requirement please forward the pic and details from your side to…”
“Urgent need a cute wife for my self (your all condistions will be accepted)
i am from saudiarab bassiclay from peshawar age 32, belongs to pathan family, working as an electrical supervisor, having cool financialy background, have 2 lak Saudi riayal bank balance here in ksa and having 90 lak rupees property in pakistan. i am independant need a lifepartner age 17-20 from any cast. i will supourt financailly. work visa will be given to her brother. if any one interested pls contact”
“Looking for 2nd wife
am looking for blonde girl .North American or European .from age 26 to 35.
height from 5,2 to 5,6 ft
.beautiful
take care of her body and health …honest
Iam work as ER doctor in Gov hospital
and my first wife still in Egypt not here in KSA
i have all equp to get married in month or may be less”
“Seeking for second wife
I am from hyderabad, PG, working in Jeddah, 6000 SR/month with family status ofcourse, goodlooking, religious, physically and financially strong alhamdulillah, already with wife and small kids eldest dgtr is 4 yrs,
looking for religious, god fearing, niqab observing,fair, sincere family oriented, atleast graduate girl, age not more than 32 years, (divorcees with children excuse please).
If someone finds this suitable please contact me through the email
Ma’assalam”
and the same guy amended the add to this the next day..
“Seeking for second wife
I am from Pakistan City Faisalabad, B.Tech (Electrical) from Preston University, working in Jeddah, 5000 SR/month with family status of course, good looking, religious, physically and financially strong alhamdulillah, already married and going for seperation soon as we are not understanding totally to each other.
looking for religious, god fearing, observing,fair, sincere family oriented, atleast graduate girl, age not more than 25 years, (divorcees with children excuse please).
If someone finds this suitable please contact me through the email
Ma’assalam”
“Looking for second wife
I am Saudi man working in health sector, looking for a bride in Jeddah as second wife. She will have a full respected treatment as Islam’s state on.
Preferred: good looking, whitish, Arabic, social, separated woman with/without kids. Of-course, fearing Allah, from decent family, well educated, open minded …etc.
I am 37yrs old, open minded, practical, fearing Allah …bla bla, financially capable to open 2nd house.”
“Seeking bride for our son
We are seeking a bride for our son, Electrical Engineer, age 26 years, slim and smart, raised & educated in Saudi Arabia, currently employed in a well reputed company. We are a Sunni Muslim Awan family belong to Punjab – Pakistan .
Bride should be simple, polite, beautiful, well educated and family oriented with Islamic cultured, enough to know the difference between a house and a home, age between 20 to 23 years,
Interested parents / guardians are kindly requested to forward the bride bio-data in detail through email. You all are very respectable for us and we assured you, that your all information’s will be treated as confidential.
Best Regards
Groom Parents”
“Proposal
We are looking proposal for younger brother, who is 27 years old, Fair, Good Looking, 6.1″ Tall, B.com, M.com, working in Hyderabad,
Bride should be very good in look, Slim, Beautiful with Sharp features & religious, very soft in nature, well-mannered, strictly practicing hijaab (veil and wimple) and knows all domestic responsibilities.
Interested parents are kindly requested to forward detailed bio-data along with very recent picture of the bride.”
Reading all these and there are hundreds like them out there, left me with a feeling of sadness..what is a woman’s value these days? Isn’t there anyone out there looking for a woman as a companion and an equal partner nowadays? Are all these men/parents just searching for a white-skinned beautiful maid/cook/bedroom entertainment center/baby producing machine? And all these men looking for second wives..ugh. Disgusting. I wonder what their first wife would have to say to his ideas.
But then I saw these two ads and I thought, there is some HOPE.
“Looking for beauty with brains
Well travelled, educated egyptain doctor (46) is looking for a companion marriage. Someone used to travelling, has a mind of her own – not a yes-woman. Overall must be an interesting personality.”
“Seeking Bride
I am Filipino Nationals and i am looking for divorced or widowed saudi or egyptian lady with kids.
The lady should be educated and studied outside the Kingdom, speaks english fluently, open minded, caring and loving. No age limit required as long as she is willing to be my life time partner.”
Well I hope all the persons eventually find happiness..Except not the men looking for second wives. Sorry, but no, just no. They should learn how to treat the first wife with respect first before even thinking of getting a second one. Putting a sleezy ad online behind her back is not a respectable way to treat her nor is it what a God-fearing Muslim man should be doing! If the first wife is 100% OK with becoming a co-wife, and the second wife is all OK with that as well, then it might work. Most likely it will ruin everyone’s life that is involved, especially the children, like in most of these cases the end result is.
A good post and lovely pictures as always. Update on your road trip please :)
Thanks! I will try to do that very soon but first I need to go through some 3000+ pics :/
i just admire how you see the beautiful side in everything in this country,godbless,and kudos for making those women taste thier own medicine!
Dear Laylah, regret for your daughter’s illness. I hope she got better. Finally at home probably she would heal soon.
I love new pictures. I was amazed how nice that sheep pick-up truck was. It reminds me to kindergarten’s fences.hehe Saudis have t be colourful nation inside maybe they like to hid whatever they have… nice job! I missed you :)
Have a lovely evening/night.
ASSALAMUALYKUM!!!!!! I LOVEE YOUR BLOG SISTER.
i am married to a Saudi and inshaa’Allah would love to move with him to his hometown….
Can you please email me so I can ask you more about the life in Saudi personally?
I also have a blog please visit http://www.onechinesemuslimah.blogspot.com
reverted in March of this year and I’m from Canada :) !!
I hope we talk soon Jazakilah Kheyr
Thank you Khadija for your comment!Nice to meet you :) You can find my email address in the contact section I would love to hear more from you. I visited your blog I liked how you designed it, have not seen that before!
Dentographer-thanks :)I hope they learned a lesson. But I highly doubt it.
Hi dear Ildi so nice to hear from you always!
My daughter is much better now and was all smiles as her usual self tonight, so I am relieved!
Those trucks are quite common here, they transport all sorts off stuff in them, this time it was livestock, but could be hay or barrels too.
Sandy-Last time we went was xmas/new years time, so not that big in Saudi terms I guess. But back then there was NOBODY there, I mean on the whole island we were the only tourists. Even the the marina had only one small boat for chartering, now it was devolped and full of boats to take tourists out, whic they did to the same few islands. They tried to take us there too, we told them its disgusting and we will not set foot on such a dump. Also my husband lectured the fisherman saying its their responsibility to make sure the ppl they take out leave with their trash..to refuse to take anyone back without them cleaning up!!
Anyways, like you I just don’t get it. They honestly dont seem to mind the crap whatsoever!!
I hope you daughter feels better soon inshAllah I know its going around. My dh and I were already sick alhumdullah Talal did not catch that. The pictures are pretty mashAllah TONS of my dh’s family are in ahba I would love to go inshAllah one day I know them all and we get along so well. His great grandmother is there too. I also collect seashells :)
The last time, when the beach was clean did you go at a holiday time? More than 20 years ago we went to a beach in the middle of nowhere north of Jizan right after Hajj and it was like paradise as we drove up- and then along the shoreline trashed. People camped and just dumped everything right there. Even pampers. It is unbelievable to me- though maybe a remnant of true bedo living when everything was burned or eaten or biodegradable. But they camped with their kids in that mess! I don’t get it.
Good for you for taken pictures of those women,
and Khadija if you live in Canada be glad and stay there if you can.
Assalamualykum sister !!!
I sent you an email hehee :) I hope you will be able to respond soon inshaa’Allah!!!! thank you!!! I hope you find my blog as interesting as I do yours !! (I mean the content hehehe)
xox
Get well soon little one!
Serves them right to have a taste of their own medicine. (the rude women)
Great pictures, I love the seashells.
Thanks Noor! She is much better, already herself today.You should def. visit Abha but I would not recommend going now, everything is closed its off season + its freezing :)
Lady Stapler-thank you!Yup, what goes around comes around as they say..
lol i found it funny of what u did to the ladies in the abayat.. how dare they point at u and laugh at u? rude rude ppl
i love collecting seashells, im glad u had fun …
p.s. happy belated Eid
Salam..inshallah a quick recovery for ure cute little one mashallah.
The photos were so cool thanks for always giving an interesting look into saudi. Btw just curious as to why the saudi women were laughing and making fun..don’t u look the same as them (i remember ure wedding photo in overhead abaya and u would never tell u were not saudi)? or can saudis spot a foreigner a mile away? lol
GawjusGurl
My thought exactly. Why where they laughing and pointing and taking pictures of you, that’s quite odd!
Hi Deema! That happens occasionally, I dont know why they do it, never seen a western woman before? It happened on Farasan island so it might be.
Happy belated Eid to you too!
GawjusGurl-I don’t look the same as then might be the most simple answer to your question why they laughed at me..I only wore that overhead abaya once to cover my pregnancy belly. BUT even on the occasions I wore a niqab, Saudis will spot a foreigner from miles away, and stare.
@laylah..thanks for replying.i noticed they do it quite a lot too and laughed so much when u told us how u got out ure camera and pointed it in their direction..loool u go girl!
_Gawjus Gurl
Ms Rosenstare-I don’t cover my face but as I said on the occasions that I did do it the reaction was the same!
Now I’m curious, how could the women see that you are a western woman? I thought you also use abaya and cover your face? The orange ring was marvellously modest!
Dear Layla,
I enjoyed these “snapshots” from your experience. My favourite were those rings, and the picture of the sheep making their way to the Saudi dinner table. LOL, you have a great sense of humor! So, are the sheep going to the abattoir first or will they go straight to the table, ha ha.
Dr. Taher
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[…] My mother recently visited us in Saudi and we wanted to show her as much as we could of the country so we decided to go on a road trip around Southern Saudi-Arabia. What an awesome way to explore the Kingdom! I love the fact that you can stop wherever and whenever you like to check out the surroundings. It was Eid Al-Adha time and my husband got almost two whole weeks off work. We planned to have the following itinerary: Riyadh-Kharj-Layla-Wadi Al Dawasir-Khamis Mushayt-Abha-Jizan-Farasan…and back. But we ended up improvising and changed plans on the way, which makes road trips all the more fun! In this post you’ll read about the journey from Riyadh through cities of al Kharj, Wadi Al Dawsir, Khamis Mushayt all the way to Abha which is about 900km. Check out all the amazing things which you can do in and around Abha in this post: Top 10 Things to do in Abha. More about the rest of our road trip in this post: “Saudi Road Trip” […]